This is how you carry when your hands are busy hefting your butt up the stairs backwards.
1. The orthopaedist will wonder why you are laughing so hard when he asks, “So, what’s your living situation?” because you are picturing your three-story house with claw-foot tubs and no bathroom on the first floor.
2. Having a little extra padding in the rear is not such a bad thing when you have to go up and down the stairs on your butt, because no weight-bearing.
3. Butt walking down the stairs is pretty much guaranteed to give you a wedgie.
4. You have just stumbled on the perfect combo arm-toning and core workout. After 10 weeks, they will be AMAZING. So will that one good leg. (You’re welcome.)
5. Cats do not make good pack animals.
6. You can carry almost anything in your bra.
7. It works just fine to sit sideways on the toilet if the clearance between the front of the toilet and tub in your charming, vintage bathroom isn’t sufficient for your extended, booted leg.
8. Knee pads are not just for sports and gardening any more.
9. Not being able to drive frees you from experiencing daily idiocy on the road.
10. If you are without one, you will never want a downstairs powder room more than right now.
My Lithuanian Summer 